Rotaiva Snowbird, FCh/DT, CR, JC (AKC maj ptd) "Tara"

In Honor of the queen of SaeSi and all she observed ... "Tara. "Long may she run, even if it has to be only in my heart, memory & mind.

I decided after I had shared my life for 7 months with Gabe, that I wanted to start showing. So, I called his breeders again to see if there was a show pup still available. I knew they had a little lass they were holding on to before, so I was hoping! Connie told me, IF Tara liked me, I could add her to my home ...  We met up at a show in Indiana and I passed the "Tara Test" when she curled up on my lap and fell fast asleep, that was in August of '94. I really enjoy taking her to the AKC conformation shows, but it took me several months of watching and going to conformation class to "get the guts" to take her in the ring myself. My first time in the ring (with her) was under judge Mary Beth Arthur (Marial Whippets) and Tara received Reserve Winners Bitch ... I was estatic! After that, my "addiction" took off like a wild fire.

Pictured is Tara with one of her breeders (Kenna, far right) and myself the day judge J. Don Jones awarded her with Winners Bitch/Best of Winners for a 4 pt major.

Poor Tara, she got dragged to show after show after show, at times she would have rather been racing (or on the couch sleeping!). I burnt her out, and in turn her performance in the ring lacked that spark and desire, but when she did want to show ... she was impeccable. Her movement was wonderfully balanced and fluid, temperament excellent, and love for the lure amazing! She was an unbelievably wonderful mother to her 2 litters, and even tried to nurse her grand pups (PhaseYa's first litter).

Tara received a total of 7 show points (including a major) prior to retiring (pyometra at 7 years of age), was a top ten meet placing oval bitch,  received her Companion Racer title from WRA, and completed her Field Championship through ASFA and her AKC JC. She loved to run, but seemed to find the flat track boring after getting a taste of the oval. Lure coursing was a natural for her and she gave me goosebumps watching her.

Tara was a true English Princess, and always acted like a lady (even when she played in the mud). She loved her family and enjoyed snuggling with my grand daughter Kaylee, and the other dogs, but her heart had "Mommy" written on it.

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Tara, my dear sweet Tara, she who did no wrong, left my side on September 2, 2003. I don't know that I will ever get past this pain ... no, I know I won't. It has been over two years now and it feels like it just happened, like my heart has gone numb. I still find it unbelievable, unreal. Nine is much too soon, not nearly enough time here on earth, next to my side.

Tara was more than a Whippet that competed, more than my 'foundation bitch', much more than my first show dog, she was my (and my family's) constant companion, my heart and joy, a true queen. She may have ruled the roost with a velvet paw but she had a steel will. She (and her brother Gabe) taught me, gave me a sense of being, filled a void in my life, heart and soul. She gave me self worth, taught me patience and acceptance. She helped me to learn to believe in ones self, no matter what others may think or say. She gave my sons a deeper feeling of self worth, went in the ring with them in Jrs and showed them the real meaning of the word teamwork. This lady was beyond compare. Nine years isn't enough, I still want more.

Tara gave new definition to the word dignified, one who was moreso than she I don't believe exists. She always gave her all in everything she did from racing, coursing, showing and raising her two litters of pups and helping with her two litters of grand puppies to giving her heart and love to her family. Always a lady, always classy and elegant, she taught me much.

My mind has been racing since the tragedy, the whys won't stop, the tears still flowing. In some ways I respect the old gal for departing earth doing what she loved so deeply, running, yet it was just too soon, I want *more* time. One of her spirit and grace should never be taken away like this. I begged for it to not be real, for her not to be gone - yet she is. I screamed, I sobbed, I pleaded with my sons and my boyfriend Mark and with God to make it not real, to bring her back to me. I couldn't hold her, she left when I wasn't here and I feel deeply cheated, she was supposed to fall asleep in my arms, warm and safe and much much older. I pray she wasn't scared, didn't realize we weren't together. Tears flow every day, still ... The most important time in her life - her departure, and I wasn't here when she needed me. The tears seem to have no end, they come in waves.

A week in a yard three times of that before, with a nice strong chain link fence, with squirrels everywhere, she was in paradise ... but it was supposed to be for many more years. Fences, in some ways can make us feel too secure. I'm angry, hurt, scared, lost without her ... I need her home! I need my baby girl and she can't come to me. I stare at her urn every day and at the angel Whippet ornament that a dear friend (Sally Long) gave to me, and had her son paint to look like my special queen ... and I cry

I still look under the walnut tree, hoping to see her there staring up at the squirrels, watching patiently for them to come within her grasp. I fixed seven bowls of food again ... stood there sobbing ... I only need six now, one bowl too few. It's so unfair, too soon. A big part of me died along with my baby Tuesday night. There are no words that can describe what I feel right now, only raw pain. Tara was my baby girl, no matter the age, she was always my *baby* girl, my TarTar.

I keep looking at the chair, at HER chair, praying, hoping ... instead I keep seeing her lifeless body in my mind's eye, and me giving her our last kiss, one that she never felt.

My mind keeps taking me back to the day she came into my life, sitting at a show in the grass under a canopy, her breeders' canopy. Connie and I'd talked about me buying Tara about 2 wks before, she'd told me "If she accepts you and likes you, which will be hard for you as she is a very aloof girl, you can have her." I was sitting next to her crate on the ground, I asked Connie if I could get her out and she said "Yes, there's her lead put it on her."  Tar came out of the crate, put paws on my leg, gave me a gentle feather kiss, and curled up on my lap and went to sleep. She was my girl, my baby, from that point on. I remember the first show *I* showed her at, she was perfect, I a bumbling fool, she got RWB and you'd have thought she just went BIS the joy we shared. Her first win on my lead ... her major ... the first litter ... and now this.

Please say a prayer for my TarTar so God welcomes her into his arms til I join her later, whenever that is, she was more precious than any gem or metal ever hoped to be, she was truly a God sent angel.

To everyone who's lost a beloved and adored pet before ... I mourn not only my loss, but your loss too ... every day.


- a deeply broken Mary